What does this practice actually look like?
If you’re new to Reaching and Holding, I understand if you have questions. Below are some answers to some most frequently asked queries.
What is Reaching and Holding?
Trust
Healing
Safety
Transformation
Reaching and Holding is an embodied practice that provides an opportunity to re-wire your parasympathetic nervous system and learn what healthy co-regulation is. It is a powerful tool for transforming trauma, chronic stress, and unhelpful belief systems into healing. This practice teaches you how to meet the world with calm and equanimity instead of being pushed into the fight or flight response.
What is reaching and holding?
Imagine being a small child and falling in the creek. Imagine that your parent comes over and sits with you as you climb into their lap. Imagine that your parent does not make you wrong, humiliate you, or chastise you. In fact, your parent is showing up fully present with unconditional love. This allows your nervous system to co-regulate with theirs, which brings you back to a place of calm. Many of us did not receive this enough as children. This practice is a way to “re-do” these experiences. The more we practice coming back into this regulated state, the more we literally re-wire our brain, nervous system, and core. These new neural pathways make it easier to leave the fight-flight state and come back to a rest-relax-heal state. This work can be challenging, as it helps you confront and work through what’s really going on in your system. However, this practice is an opportunity to let go of things you never thought possible, to have freedom you’ve never experienced before, and to make deep, lasting life changes.
What does “reaching” and “holding” mean?
When someone is “reaching,” it means that they are co-regulating their nervous system with the “holder,” who is offering a loving, caring, and non-judgemental template to connect with. In these sessions, we work toward the possibility of literally being held, moving at the appropriate pace for each individual. It’s very clear to both people when that time arrives.
What does this practice accomplish?
Reaching can offer relief from the effects of childhood or life trauma, isolation and other challenges from COVID, and life upheavals such as the loss of a relationship, job, or loved one. It also helps with difficult emotions such as anxiety, anger, and unhelpful belief systems.
What do sessions look like?
I use somatic practices like breathwork, body movement, and vocal release to help clients move through what they’re feeling and into a place of calm connection. A somatic practice uses the mind-body connection to help you observe what is going on in your system so that you can put attention toward healing. This practice can be intimate emotionally and physically (when appropriate), but is held in a completely non-sexual safe container.
How frequently should I do sessions?
This practice isn’t a one-time coat of paint, it’s like therapy: regularly returning to the work offers the most benefit. Single sessions can be helpful in dealing with emergent life challenges or doing an energetic “tune-up”, but most people report needing multiple sessions to develop transformative, lasting change.
How much do I have to commit?
Like anything, the more time and the higher quality of attention you put in, the more you’ll see results. This practice is not just about what’s challenging in life, but where do you see yourself next and how do you want your system to feel fulfilled?
Who is this practice for?
Based on our own constitution, personality, family of origin, and life experiences, we all have different skill sets. Many of us find ourselves able to be quite analytical, but struggle to connect on a deep level with others. Learning how to co-regulate your system with another’s can help you develop the capacity to connect with others on a level that you’ve always desired but never thought possible.
Have additional questions?
I’m here to answer them. Let’s talk.
Location, location, location
Where would we meet?
I offer a number of options for how and where we meet. Some folks meet in person (either at my studio in San Rafael or in Richmond), some on Zoom, and some in a hybrid model. As such, my clients have come from everywhere from locally in the North Bay Area, to New York, to New Zealand.
My Studio
In downtown San Rafael
Come visit me in my beautiful little office in the heart of downtown San Rafael. There are two convenient parking garages within a block.
Zoom
From anywhere in the world
While some people prefer in-person sessions, my remote clients will tell you that the practice is powerful and effective over Zoom.
In Nature
Find serenity in the natural world
At times it is incredibly useful to have an outdoor session. The natural world can support the nervous system in rebalancing.
Resources
Opportunities
for study
Some of these resources are those I have used to support people in their practice, and some and are just about connecting in general. You may find these resources useful for deepening your practice.
Second Sight
David White
Podcast
This podcast clip is just over five minutes, but is a lovely journey through touch as a calling toward our higher selves
Listen →
The 5 Personality Patterns
Steven Kessler
Book
This invaluable book goes over the five personality patterns/archetypes, how to heal one’s shadow side, and how to relate with others
Get Yours →
How does touch effect our mental and physical health?
DW Documentary
Video
This powerful, hour-long documentary shares how gentle touch impacts our bodies, psyches, and lives.